Searching for "i don"

304 Results For 'i don'

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

Just The Way You Are

October 11, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: Example i

It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo

Sandy

October 06, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Example 1

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. There is a fair age difference between us. His 26 and I'm 14 I've known him since I was about 8. I love him more then anything. And he loves me the exact same way. The age difference has always worried us. Everything was going perfectly. But then we had an argument over a phone bill, which he had made after calling my mobile off his parents house phone. I hated it when he spent money on me. Even the slightest bit. He continued to tell me how he was going to pay for it himself. Our relationship was something that no one knew about. And we planned on keeping it that way. It was long distance, but it was a sacrifice we both made. During the argument about the phone bill, he tells me how his mother found out exactly how old I am,after talking to a friend of hers from my home town. He tells me how she refuses to have him live under her roof. at this point I start to cry. Because I knew the outcome. He texted me saying how bad he felt about it, and how he felt like he had broken my heart ( that he did) but he wad going to have to think the situation through, and put our relationship on hold.I didn't reply to that message. And writing this two hours later, I don't plan to. It scares me, because his suffered depression and Suicide has been an outstanding option for him, his always told me that if he ever had to live without me he would kill himself. Lying in bed, I've deleted all his messages, and his number. The only thing stopping us is other people's opinions. I'm worried, and I miss him. I live in a small town, so it wil probably make it's way around anyways.. I really don't know what to do. His so protective, and he hates it when I talk to other boys. Even if it is just a polite conversation. The fact that my bestfriend was a boy means that I've lost him too. At the moment my phones turned off. And I'm just going to stay in bed. Just pray that he makes the right decision.

Say

September 09, 2011 @ (Florida)

Tags: exm1

My story is a little bit crazy but i've basically been dating a guy for 2 years now and ever since we started he has been very obsessive and controlling. He would make me text him telling him where i was going and when i got there. Also, he would get upset if i went to the mall or if i dressed up pretty when he was not around. At the beginning i thought that i could some how shape him and make him more condifent of what i felt for him and that eventually he would change. I don't know what to do we currently broke up because i started my graduate program and he got upset because of how i dressed because he says it too nice. He even went to my school to see if i talked to any guys. Another thing he goes to the gym everyday but he says i cant go because there are guys. This relationship i believe is very sickning,

Madeline

September 09, 2011 @ (California )

Tags: heartbreak

My bf Adam and I have were together for bout a year. Just under a year. Adam was an amazing basketball player and loved the game. Around February of our senior yr he found out he got into Duke university. Since I've known him all he would talk about was how he wanted to go explore and experience new things. But somehow his mind had changed since he had been with me and said he wasn't gonna go there. He said he was gonna go to school in CA so he could be close to me. And it wasn't like he was go to a UC or CalState he was gonna go to community college like me. And this caused so much tension with us cuz I wasn't going to let him ruin his life over me an I told him I was transferring to Tennessee state soon so we would be driving distance away but he didn't believe me.
I didn't know what to do. His dad who I have only met maybe twice cuz they don't get along calls me and tells me to break up with him cuz its the only way he would leave And he was being a jerk bout it. I Don't wantbto do hthat but I loved Adam so much I was willing to let him go if it meant he would have a better future. I broke up with Adam couple weeks before our anniversary and I tried explaining why but he wouldn't hear me out. He has never said anything hurtful or malicious to me but after I broken up with him he told me to never talk to him again. I called every day yo tell him how sorry I was and I love him. H never responded.
That happened in 2010. To this day he hasn't talked to me since I broke up with him. And it breaks my heart. Last I heard he didn't go to Duke. Hes going to calstate long beach. 15 mins away from me. His dad isbto blame for this and I resent him getting involved. I was willing to make a long distance relationship work And now I lost Adam. I pray everyday That's he'll give me another chance. That's why he's in CA isbso he could he close to me and I believe we have a chance.

Chelsey

September 03, 2011 @ (Canada)

Tags: not mutual

My boyfriend whom I'd spent three years of my life with, decided one morning in the shower that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He got out of the shower, and proceeded to wake me up. He pulled me away from the bed, and held my hands, and it looked like he was going to propose to me. The first words out of his mouth were "I'm sorry, but I don't think we can spend the rest of our lives together. I want you to move out." He never gave me a reason, and he refused to even consider talking it through. He then proceeded to pretend that nothing was wrong whenever our mutual friends were around, and never told a soul about the breakup, leaving all the awkwardness to me.

Rubi

September 01, 2011 @ (Oregon)

Tags: example 1, example 2

Ok so my ex and i had been together for 11 months everything was great at first then i left to a summer camp for a week. When i got back i could tell something was wrong.. but he just wouln't tell me wht it was. So then here we are talking on the PHONE not even in person.. nd he tells me " im tierd of you always arguing about everything i just want to not fight anymore.." nd some more BS .. he dumps me that night .. here i am crying like a dummie. BUT, wait here i am i love this kid with all my heart soo im willing to go all the way were he lives nd try to work things out. To my surprise i get their and he's getting high so i try to seduce him lol nd he gave in .. for like a million times but then after said ... " no im not a cheater i dont cheat" i was like WTF do you have a new GF? and it turns out that while i was sitting their crying my eyes out nd all those restless nights he got with this girl eathier the day he dumped me or the day after.. this happened yesterday .. i am sooo hurt and idk what to do i feel like im never going to get over him .. I HONESTLY HOPE HE GETS HIS ASS KICKED SOOOOON!!!

Leanne

August 22, 2011 @ (Ohio)

Tags: sex, young, love

I met him in the beginning of summer. Everything was perfect. We were in love, or i thought we were. It only took a week for us to start dating. I'm 15, he is 18. He was like my bestfriend. We were so comfortable around each other. I could tell him anything and not feel judged. It was the best relationship I have ever had. We started talking about sex, He told me he loved me, so I thought that it would be okay. We started havin sex. Everything seemed fine, then one day we did it in his car, and later that evening he told me he doesn't love me, and he thought he never did. I don't unnderstand how someone can do something like that. We spent almost everyday together. He wants everything to be the same, he still wants to hangout... as friends. Thats so selfish. How could I ever let myself get into something so messed up like this. I feel like such a fool. I'm scared to open up to anyone now.

McBill

June 30, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: short-term, fun

I suppose it had to be done. It was ugly. Though I suppose there's no other way to break a girl's heart. Awkwardness will ensue, as we work together. The thought of leaving her room at 3:30am with her sobbing under her covers while her nasty roommate goes at it with her boy toy in the next room -- ugh. I hate hurting people. I should never have let it drag on so long. It was inconsiderate. I should not have told her that I regretted letting it drag on so long. That made it worse. Can't take that back.
I don't regret the time I spent with her. Not one bit. It was fun. She shouldn't feel dumb, although she probably does. It wasn't her fault that the relationship turned out this way. If I was the slightest bit open with my feelings, it wouldn't have ended so badly.
And I miss her already. I got so used to being with her every night. It's going to be hard to go back to being alone and miserable in this house. Lame friends, nothing much to do. I actually thought it would work itself out. I thought she was going to move away, and that things would work themselves out eventually. I was too much of a wussy to take it into my own hands.

Manda

June 15, 2011 @ (Indiana)

Tags: crazy, psycho, too long

The weirdest thing about this story is that I never actually DATED N.B. but there was a clear break up!

NB was my best friend. I had gotten to know him though he was shy and withdrawn and he really got close to me. While I did like him it wasn't serious. So one day I pulled him aside and told him (in my memory) as best as I could that I didn't see him that way.

Then I met CL and we dated. It was an open and obvious relationship and we all spent time together at the same youth group, so I assumed NB knew like the rest of the world. Eventually, CL and I broke it off and I told NB that we had broken up. He acted as though he never knew we were dating and asked when he and I would start dating. This was a YEAR after the first conversation about all of this.
My response was pretty much "what? no."

Then the crazy set in. He bought a trenchcoat (like a friggin' high school shooter). He stopped bathing. He combed his hair down over his face. I got psycho emails and changed phones with my mom. My parents were looking into a restraining order.

So then I go to college. He keeps it up and finally says via email if I never respond to him he will leave me alone. If only! I don't respond and when I visit home he corners me. He says he just wants to be friends and I shout at him that I don't.

Sounds easy enough? Even during my 3 year engagement he would circle me at church, regardless of my fiance being there or not!

So a long and torturous break up with someone I never dated!